“Give word to pain. The pain that does not speak, groans in the heart, until it breaks. ”Illiam Shakespeare
Since we are little they teach us emotions classifying them as positive and negative.
What they don't usually teach us is that all emotions are ephemeral, they don't last forever. Nor is it necessary to express them, both positive and negative, although socially this is frowned upon.
The positive ones are those that make us feel good, like joy, happiness, calm... They are the ones that are socially accepted. They express themselves through a smile, an accomplice look ...
Instead Anger, fear, and frustration are considered negative emotions. due to the effects of malaise that they produce in our body These are usually expressed through crying.
And crying in public, in our culture is a symptom of weakness. For this reason we learn to repress these emotions. We don't avoid feeling them, but expressing them, and this is a big mistake, because we are enlarging the pain in our own body.
It's as if someone suddenly tells you "don't think of a pink elephant". The first thing that comes to mind is that pink elephant.
The same thing happens with emotions, no matter how much we tell ourselves "I don't have to cry" "I don't have to feel frustration", he still feels, it's something to fight against is useless
The only way to overcome these emotions is to work on their acceptance., and for this the first step is to recognize and express them.
Therefore, given the loss of a family member, or a marriage separation, it is very important to work on emotional ventilation. As they say "emotion expressed, emotion overcome." In this way we avoid a possible disorder in that person who has suffered a loss.